The oldest girls are enjoying themselves. Over the last few weeks and months,
eldest daughters speak out about how important it is for them to keep things together for those around them in the popular press and on social media.
I was especially drawn to the tales of several women and girls who fearlessly set boundaries and stand up for themselves after reading and watching this
Despite the attempts to define this “eldest daughter syndrome,” all eldest daughters are not the same. In my research and writing, I have noticed distinct variations or manifestations of “eldest daughter syndrome,”
with some daughters exhibiting codependency and people-pleasing tendencies while others display hyper-independence and rigidity.
However, in both cases, the eldest daughter is often the child who takes on a parental role, providing support without receiving it. Or, as I have written before,
“Being the oldest child, you get all of the responsibility of being a co-parent but none of the recognition.”
Therefore, I have been exploring the concept of “daughtering” and how the experience of being a daughter can differ depending on family circumstances.
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